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Ryan Cooper

The Secret Behind Keith Morris' Massive Dreads? Radiation!

By May 27, 2011

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It's not often that we delve in science or beauty tips here, but today we're doing both by answering a question that has weighed on all our minds for years: What's the secret behind Circle Jerks/OFF! frontman Keith Morris' lustrous locks?

Turns out, it's uranium.

Vice Magazine, while pondering this conundrum, asked Morris for a sample of his dreads in order to submit them for analysis. Surprisingly, he complied.

Not only did the results come back showing high levels of uranium, but they also found arsenic arsenic and an excess of copper, which can lead to hair loss, which may be the reason why Morris just lets it all run wild. Don't mess with it if it's working.

The study, which has been reported here, doesn't explain if the uranium has mutated Morris into a super mutant here over the years - a sort of Super Circle Jerk - so we can only assume that the answer is yes, it has, and this is being kept under wraps in order to preserve his secret life running wild in the streets and fighting committing crime from his biodiesel bus.

Photo Nicole Lucas


July 11, 2011 at 9:31 pm
(1) MiKE says:

wowza! this is wild in the

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